awkwardly

Tuesday

Perverse Jokes

Q: What's the new name of National Public Radio now that it's been purchased by a consortium of romantic amputee-fetishists?
A: Pational Nublic Radio

Q: What did they call the impoverished author of The Raven when he worked in law enforcement?
A: Po' po-po Poe
(Joke by Melinda)

Q: What McDonald's sandwich did Alfred Hitchcock pursue for years without getting his hands on one?
A: An Egg McGuffin.

Q: Why did the bird-watching detective stop following his most promising trail of clues?
A: He could tell it was a red heron.

Q: What did Ronnie James Dio sing when he met Schwarzeneggar's ex-wife?
A: HOLY SHRIVER!
(joke by Melinda)

Q: What does Fozzie Bear say after every joke he tells in Southern Mexico?
A: Oaxaca, Oaxaca, Oaxaca!

Q: How can you tell if a farmer likes dubstep?
A: His harvest is nearly always in the range of 138–142 beets per minute.

Q: What do you call a Japanese seasoning of fermented rice, barley and/or soybeans, that hates women?
A: MISOgynist.

Q: What's it called when you believe your employer, or capitalists in general, are looking out for your best interest?
A: Stockholm Syndrome

Did you hear Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane from The Dukes of Hazzard has started questioning his gender id & sexual orientation?
He's LGBTQQQ.

Q: What singer-songwriter is becoming a favorite of cheerleader ruminants everywhere?
A: Gotye. (Goat-YAY!)

Q: If Red Dawn had shown anthropomorphized fruit & veggies defending against invaders, what would their rally cry have been?
A: NECTARINES!

Q: Did you hear Larry the Cable Guy came out of the closet?
A: Now he shouts GLITTER-DONE!

Q: What did Fozzy the Bear shout when the Muppets went on strike in the middle of filming?
A: Walkout, walkout, walkout!
(Pronounced like waka, waka, waka).

Q: What do you call Firefly fans who are also Nazis?
A: Brownshirt Browncoats.

Q: What would you call a sidekick of Captain Kangaroo if he were a Nazi and a fan of Firefly?
A: Mr. Brownshirt Browncoat Green Jeans.

Monday

Wreck-It Ralph = Horton Can't Hear a Who.

Horton Hears a Who is about a community of tiny sentient beings in danger of being destroyed by much bigger sentient creatures who are unaware of their existence. Eventually they're able to communicate with the bigger creatures, who vow to protect them.

Wreck-It Ralph is about a community of tiny sentient beings, some of whom are occasionally destroyed by much bigger sentient creatures who are unaware of their existence. They know some of the conditions under which the bigger creatures destroy them, and are able to influence things to save themselves sometimes. Presumably there are other situations that they have little or no control over, like when the local gamers get bored of an older game and it gets hauled away. At no point in the story do they mention directly communicating with the bigger creatures. I assume the humans would treat them differently if they realized there were sentient beings who were snuffed out when the games are unplugged or disassembled. They seem to think the game characters are just images or simulations, without feelings or hopes or dreams or the ability to suffer.

Do the game characters make that connection, or do they assume humans are evil gods who toy with them and throw them away, knowing but not caring that the characters are sentient beings with feelings?