awkwardly

Tuesday

Perverse Jokes

Q: What's the new name of National Public Radio now that it's been purchased by a consortium of romantic amputee-fetishists?
A: Pational Nublic Radio

Q: What did they call the impoverished author of The Raven when he worked in law enforcement?
A: Po' po-po Poe
(Joke by Melinda)

Q: What McDonald's sandwich did Alfred Hitchcock pursue for years without getting his hands on one?
A: An Egg McGuffin.

Q: Why did the bird-watching detective stop following his most promising trail of clues?
A: He could tell it was a red heron.

Q: What did Ronnie James Dio sing when he met Schwarzeneggar's ex-wife?
A: HOLY SHRIVER!
(joke by Melinda)

Q: What does Fozzie Bear say after every joke he tells in Southern Mexico?
A: Oaxaca, Oaxaca, Oaxaca!

Q: How can you tell if a farmer likes dubstep?
A: His harvest is nearly always in the range of 138–142 beets per minute.

Q: What do you call a Japanese seasoning of fermented rice, barley and/or soybeans, that hates women?
A: MISOgynist.

Q: What's it called when you believe your employer, or capitalists in general, are looking out for your best interest?
A: Stockholm Syndrome

Did you hear Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane from The Dukes of Hazzard has started questioning his gender id & sexual orientation?
He's LGBTQQQ.

Q: What singer-songwriter is becoming a favorite of cheerleader ruminants everywhere?
A: Gotye. (Goat-YAY!)

Q: If Red Dawn had shown anthropomorphized fruit & veggies defending against invaders, what would their rally cry have been?
A: NECTARINES!

Q: Did you hear Larry the Cable Guy came out of the closet?
A: Now he shouts GLITTER-DONE!

Q: What did Fozzy the Bear shout when the Muppets went on strike in the middle of filming?
A: Walkout, walkout, walkout!
(Pronounced like waka, waka, waka).

Q: What do you call Firefly fans who are also Nazis?
A: Brownshirt Browncoats.

Q: What would you call a sidekick of Captain Kangaroo if he were a Nazi and a fan of Firefly?
A: Mr. Brownshirt Browncoat Green Jeans.

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