My Pa, the Prognosticator

My dad did two or three years in the Navy, supposedly volunteering for a longer stint in order to remain in the States. I mean, I don't doubt his claim, just doubt that any branch of the U.S. military would honor that kind of commitment. See "stop-loss." Anyway, that's why I was born in San Diego, CA instead of somewhere on the path of white flight away from Detroit.

I know he worked as a clerk in the Navy, took a lot of heating and cooling and plumbing classes, and that he only had six weeks on a ship to Guantanamo and back. Pa passed along this nugget of wisdom based on his experience: the difference between being on a ship at sea and being in prison is that you're less likely to drown in prison.

The Bush administration is making this joke more true than ever before. From The Guardian:
US accused of holding terror suspects on prison ships. I was going to say Pa was wrong in terms of drowning, given the current policy on waterboarding U.S. prisoners anywhere on dry land, but it was true at the time he made that statement, back when the laws against torture were still ostensibly honored by the U.S.


Aunt Sadie's Greens

Chapter Twelve of Brazen Hearts, Fresh, On Sticks.

"Lupo's on Cherry Street is your standard tavern. The ale's flat, but at least the serving wenches have thick heads of foam. If you hold still at the bar long enough, you'll get propositioned by some group of adventurers who just met each other for the first time. They'll invite you along to raid the Tombs of Atuan or the Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth. I turn 'em down politely. Then I send word by carrier pigeon to my old friend Sally who lives in the Lost Caverns. Let her know a fresh bunch of humanoids is on its way.

"Even though it's in the human settlement of Korndale, Lupo's is the kind of place where a legless, shrivelled goblin witch can pull herself through the doorway hand over fist, and not really stand out in the crowd. That would be me, the goblin witch, Sadie. . . ."

Aunt Sadie tells about confronting her ancient rival, an unspeakable force of bitchiness named Francine. Hilarity and hijinx and bloodloss are sure to follow in Aunt Sadie's Greens.

[Run time: 13 minutes, 41 seconds. Click here to see other file formats for downloading or streaming, plus detailed music and f/x credits. Special Guest Melinda as "Georgia Lupo."]