awkwardly

Wednesday

Justin Bieber jumps steam shark in Santa's sleigh

Santa has gathered some scrap parts and constructed a steam-powered ski boat, a shoddy ramp and a wind-up robot shark. He's using more steam devices to keep the lake free of ice. And he's pulling Justin Bieber towards the ramp at breakneck speed.



In how many different directions does this video fail?

5. The sleepy-sounding corpse of Michael Jackson called on behalf of the Jackson Five. He wants his singing style back.
4. Get as many cogs and gears from a watch repair shop as you can. Glue and sew them to every costume and surface. Steampunk!
3. All those straps and chains and extraneous fashion accessories dangling from shirts, hats and pants, and nobody can invent a device to hold pants up? The crotch of Bieber's pants rests at his knees. You'd think a crafty, DIY group like this could measure an inseam better than that.
2. In typical movie-commercial fashion, the song is interspersed with irrelevant scenes from a CGI cartoon. Thus fans of Bieber feel like they're watching a commercial for a movie, and fans of the movie feel they're watching a commercial for Bieber (if they bother to stay for the end credits.)
1. Justin Bieber continues to sing and exist.

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