awkwardly

Friday

Lysistrata and Stitch

I got an article accepted in/on the Journal of Cartoon Over-Analyzations! I wrote it two or three years ago and submitted it to metaphilm.com. They had put out a call for papers about philms for a book they were planning to put together. I don't want to be too pushy about this kind of thing, so I touched base with the editor after some time passed ... a year later. He said they still hoped to do the book. Meanwhile, fewer feature articles have been posted on metaphilm, stretching to three months and six months in between features. When I learned of the existence of J. Cart. Over-Anal. from metafilter.com (no relation), it seemed like a serendipitous time to cut my losses and submit the article elsewhere.

So anyhow, forget all the backstory. You're chomping at the bit to actually read the thing, right? It starts out like this:

Lysistrata and Stitch
Contributed by Rob N., who blogs at evilbobdayjob.tripod.com.

In the eternal struggle of boys against girls, the only hope for survival of intelligent life is for girls to win.

We’re talking lasers, aliens, boogers, gobs of earwax flicked off in restaurants, dogfights in space ships, a monster designed as a weapon to destroy worlds, plus shapely dancing girls. Lilo and Stitch has all the elements to win back boys and manly men who would normally avoid everything Disney. Sure, Stitch is cute and fluffy, but he’s also equipped with fangs, claws, spines, nightvision, nicks in his ears from past battles, tongue able to reach inside his own nose. He’s bulletproof, fireproof, lifts objects 3000 times his size and survives getting run over by two trucks. He also knows alien language so vulgar, it causes a robot to puke bolts in the trial scene.

Enjoy it while it lasts, guys, because the rest of the movie is about violent men who fail and women who pick up the pieces.

[Click here to read more.]

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