Ask Not For Whom This Joke Works

There were these friends. Their names were Patti LaBelle, Tyne Daly and Lars Ulrich. Patti and Tyne and Lars met at some awards show or Hollywood party in the 80s, and they bonded because of how much they loved computers and bulletin board systems. When the world wide web became popular, they were already seasoned veterans. Hundreds of spectacular discussions and flamewars from the earliest days of Usenet can be traced back to these three.

When Metallica hit it really big and developed their first website, it would naturally need a forum. Patti and Tyne liked posting there too, not because they were really interested in the band or their music. Just because they love any kind of internet message board or forum.

Unfortunately Patti gets kicks out of provoking people. Tyne Daly is usually serious and doesn't trade insults with people. But when someone insults her friend Patti LaBelle, Tyne Daly will take her response into real life, track down the insulter and step on their face. She doesn't play, even in cases when Patti LaBelle was messing around and provoked a nasty response.

Lars wrote a disclaimer which you'll see when you first register on that website. He meant to warn forum users not to insult Patti, but the wording is a little awkward because, you know, English isn't Lars's first language.

The disclaimer reads:
"For whom LaBelle trolls...
TYNE MARCHES ON!"