"Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact--complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words--to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed. Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions. With Big Chief tablet readied, thick black pencil in hand, and a devil-may-care laugh in the face of death, life on the razor's edge sense of exhilaration, the Court begins."

Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corp., Inc. (147 F.Supp.2d 668) This the kind of writing I can never get away with at work.

"Defendant begains the descent into Alice's Wonderland by submitting.... A more bumbling approach is difficult to conceive--but wait folks, There's More!

"Plaintiff responds to this deft, yet minimalist analytical wizardry with an equally gossamer wisp of an argument...

"But at the end of the day, even if you put a calico dress on it and call it Florence, a pig is still a pig.

"Now, alas, the Court must return to grownup land.

...."In either case, the Court cautions Plaintiff's counsel not to run with a sharpened writing utensil in hand--he could put his eye out. IT IS SO ORDERED."