awkwardly

Friday

Editor Exposes Dangerous Caped Vigilante
In the tradition of J. Jonah Jameson's attacks on his nemesis (and employee) Spider-man, yesterday's Jackson Citizen-Patriot newspaper gave an unflattering portrait of "Captain Jackson."

If you've searched the web for info about Jackson, Michigan (but why would you do that?), you've probably seen info about this guy in a superhero costume who tries to make the police and the city of Jackson sound like good things. Maybe he's right. Go figure. Basically telling kids to call 911, not to intervene in crimes, try to remember a perp's height, weight and hair color if you see a crime go down, that kind of stuff. On his website www.CaptainJackson.org (seriously), he says he's "sanctioned by the local Police" and that he "patrol[s] the streets of Jackson, Michigan looking to report and deter crime and educate people..."

According to the story in the Citizen-Patriot, his patrolling is not just wacky hyperbole. "Strapped to his waist are Mace, handcuffs, a rope and a pack containing a cell phone and other gadgets....Most of Captain Jackson's nights are spent on foot patrol downtown, jiggling doors, rousting panhandlers and spreading goodwill." Hmm, do the panhandlers consider it goodwill to be "rousted"?

On his website, the Captain keeps a journal of "Activity Reports" such as 8-10-05: "With the murder suspect of a Walgreen's employee on the loose, CAPTAIN JACKSON was on duty early in the afternoon. He patrolled his district and looked for anyone who fit the description of the suspect to report to the police." (A clerk was really murdered at the Walgreen's on West St.)

This exposé was prompted by Thomas Frankini's October 12 drunk-driving arrest. "Frankini, 49, appeared in street clothes in court Wednesday and was placed on six months probation. He pleaded guilty to operating while visibly impaired on U.S. 127 near Hart Road -- his blood-alcohol level was .0625." Since he was busted while off-duty, "he believes his crime-fighting alter ego remains viable.... With his cover blown, Frankini said his life is in danger because of all the felons the caped trio [including his wife Queen of Hearts, and daughter Crimefighter Girl] has foiled."

'As for his contention that Jackson Police Chief Ervin Portis "sanctioned" him several years ago, that might be a stretch. "He came to Chief Portis and told him what he planned to do, and the chief said he couldn't stop him," Deputy Chief Matt Heins said.'

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