Whew! That was close!

My marriage hung in the balance for a few weeks there, but luckily Proposal 2 passed here in Michigan. According to all the campaign ads, they needed to "protect marriage" by keeping it to one man and one woman at a time. My marriage is "safer" today. Still not quite sure what would have happened if this protection had not been added. Would we have suddenly felt compelled to get a divorce because we'd be so offended by other people having marriages that we disagree with? Would I have been forcibly resettled to a strategic hamlet where I'd be forced to marry a man? Who can tell. But I sure feel safer today. I mean, thousands of my countrymen and hundreds of thousands of other people might have been killed if my vote hadn't corrected this important problem.

No, wait, that's Iraq or Iran or Sudan or something. Congo! No no, Congo is the answer to "What conflict resulted in more direct and indirect deaths than any other war since WWII?" That's the Congo in the 1990s. Did you know they were at war off and on in the Congo for a little while there?

Anyhow, good thing my marriage is protected and we're taking pre-emptive military action in the really important places that obviously need it more than others.