Shortly after Clinton's speech at the opening of his new $165 million Presidential Library, a girl named Stacy, age 9, approached the microphone during a question and answer session. "Mr. Clinton, what percent do you suppose the infant mortality rate might have been lowered in our country or some other country if the money for this library had been spent on them? Like free pre-natal care for women?"

Too late for all that, so they moved all the papers and junk out of the library and let homeless people live there, using the important papers as fuel for heating and cooking. All the other living presidents turned their libraries into shelters too, and Clinton used his personal wealth to pay reparations toward people in Serbia, Iraq and other places where people suffered from his actions. Steven Tyler ate Donald Trump, then some non-celebrities from the fly-over states ate Steven Tyler, and everyone who survived live more happily ever after.