Every time I get an automatic email telling me that someone has signed my Fuck Texas guestbook, I get a sensation like butterflies in my stomach. Diseased butterflies. About one out of every ten responses there say they laughed and enjoyed reading it. The other nine tell me to keep the hell out of Texas if I know what's good for me. The one that stuck with me is the person who said I got some funny jokes across, but he'd still cut my face off, with a follow-up post saying, No, really, I will cut your face off.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to take down the site soon, because it's not worth the pain to those people and the intestinal difficulties they give me. In place of the actual article text will be a link to the guestbook to show why I took it down, and maybe a list of the emails you should contact to complain about it (the email addresses some shitheads actually posted to the guestbook like "fuck@you.com" or "nonyabusiness@suckme.com" etc.). Some highlights from the guestbook would help, such as: You sorry excuse for a worthless motherfucking human. This is the best fucking state there is and if you don't like it that's fine with us. We don't need your sorry ass stinking up our state. Come on and visit us sometime and make your next visit to our wonderful state your last you piece of shit. [Reply: Yes, thank you, Tim. When I think of "Texas Friendly," I think of someone telling me, "make your next visit to our wonderful state your last, you piece of shit."]

[This last thing has nothing to do with F-Tx, but here's an ASCII art signature I saw representing Cthulhu:]

/|\_(@jjjj@)_/|\