awkwardly

Thursday

Dramatis Personae for Melinda's Stories


Freida the Fairy Munchkin: originally described and pictured in issues of Melinda's zine, The Basketcase. Usually lives in our apartment or house.

Waltraud: Human. Lived in our garage for a while.

Bosun Chubris*: Fairy Munchkin, husband of Freida. Wrote one or two pieces for The Basketcase zine.

Dolores: Hamquatch.

Lodores: Hamquatch, daughter of Dolores. Born July 26, 2014.

Flicka the Ladybug*: Owns a KFC in the ladybug city in our back yard. Does laundry and scoops kitty litter for us. Heavy lifting accomplished with Hamquatch devices.

Jethro the underemployed marmoset*: Jethro and Flicka? They got a thi-i-ing . . . goin on.
Through a process that is much nicer than you imagine, Flicka and Jethro had twin babies, Flickthro and Jethicka. They look like ladybug sized marmosets.

Jamyang the Hamyet*: Works a variety of jobs, seemingly a new one every week.

Anita the aphid

Eniko: another aphid

Arika: another aphid

Patrick: Ladybug with black-spotted blue shell and long, wispy blue beard. Work history includes tossing pepperoni slices onto pizzas, tossing elderly people into bed, other tossing positions.

Raphael: ladybug who has panic attacks.

Skippy Carcetti*: Groundhog. Landscaping contractor.

Calista Carcetti: Groundhog. Wife of Skippy.

Hugo the Hamtilibug: Flicka's love-child with a Hamtilian.

Our cats

Lucky: Tan and brown tiger-striped female short hair. Found in Houston around Dec 1997, when she was maybe six months old. Born in Houston, TX, Summer 1997. Died of lung cancer in Jackson, MI, July 5, 2015. Our original princess.

Lozie: Tortoiseshell female short hair, mostly black, some orange, brown and tan. Had a uterine infection around 2006 that required hysterectomy. Sensitive about her weight. Born in Collinsville, Mississippi Fall 2002. Died of kidney disease Sep 6, 2020

Songlian: Calico female short hair, mostly white with black and tiger-striped orange patches. Songlian has worked as a psychiatrist in a rodent prison. She currently runs a cafe. Follow her Twitter updates @SongliansCafe. Deliveries to Songlian's Cafe are made by hamquatches with help from Ghost of Bobby. [2004-Dec 15, 2016]

Zatoichi: White and gray long-hair. Son of Songlian. Zatoichi attends kindergarten, college, middle school, works hundreds of jobs, and is constantly applying to new jobs. [Mar(?) 2005-Dec 1, 2018]

Bobby: Name given to every male bob-tailed cat owned by the Collinsville Smiths for the last half-century.

Sissy: Name given to every female cat owned by the Collinsville Smiths for the last half-century. Sometimes bob-tailed, sometimes mother of Bobbies.


Glossary / Background


Fairy Munchkin: Six inch tall, winged fairies with stocky build.

Hamquatch: Three to four inch tall critters genetically engineered by gray aliens using DNA of hamsters and sasquatches. Formerly known as "baby sasquatches" based on their size, this confusing term has fallen into disuse. Hamquatches have incredible technology from the gray aliens, including spaceships that appear to be Volkswagen Bugs and other mundane human vehicles. Teleportation and energy-matter conversion seem to be among the other technologies they have mastered. They may have shared their technology with a variety of other rodents and insects on Earth. Cuz the Prime Directive is bullcrap, yo.

Hamyet: Hamster/yeti. White-furred version of a Hamquatch.*

Gray aliens: Evil empire from outer space, with some factions of good members.

Hamtilian: Hamster/reptilian. Hamster sized but with green fur.

Hamtilibug: Hamster/reptilian/ladybug.

* indicates characters or species named by Rob, but usually developed by Melinda.

[Updated 7 Sep 2020]