Dude on Todd Mundt show today said that enough sperm is produced in one man's orgasm to impregnate every female in Europ
e (in theory). Cool!
Tuesday when I sat down in Jocelyn Barchetta (our Chevy Metro), I noticed a fuzzy, black jumping spider which had hopped off my knee and onto the console. He had probably built a web in between the front door and the screen door, and accidentally came for a ride when I walked through it.
A little smaller than a dime, the thing had green dots on his front mandibles or fangs or whatever you call those little appendages where it's mouth ought to be. So I was not content to let him sit there. Being a man of peace like Ariel Sharon,
I didn't want to kill the gruesome little cutie, so I tried to scoop him up on a piece of paper and toss him out the door. I started wondering if I'd have to be ten or fifteen minutes late chasing the bastard around the car, when he obliged me by jumping somewhere out of sight. I could have crawled to a position where I could see under the dash board, but that would have taken even longer. I drove to work constantly checking my arms and legs and scanning the floor and seats for any sign of him. With any luck, he'll build a web and dry out in there with a few afternoons of baking in the sun.
I know it wasn't a fascinating story, but I really needed to retell Bush's joke about Sharon being a man of peace. Here's another one:
Bush is talking with King Fahd of Saudi Arabia (or use any Middle Eastern politician who makes the joke more timely) about American television. King Fahd says he enjoys watching Friends and F Troop and I Dream Of Jeannie, but his favorite is re-runs of classic Star Trek. "I have one question," King Fahd says. "Star Trek shows people of many races working in peace. African, Asian, European, Russian, so many people are portrayed, but why are there no Arabs?"
"That's easy," says Bush. "Star Trek is set in the future."