awkwardly

Wednesday

DR Congo: Africa's worst war. The four-and-a-half year conflict in the Democratic Republic of Congo has been described as the worst since World War II.

Good evening. I'm Tom Brokaw. I'm Dan Rather. I'm Peter Jennings. I'm Aaron Brown. Tonight, we're submitting our resignations as "news men" (sic) for our collective failure to describe international news with any kind of reasonable priorities. Good night, America!










I amHastur!


The Unspeakable One is the master of those who seek to unveil the mysteries of death. It is through meditation upon the Yellow Sign that the devotee of Hastur seeks transcendence to the city-realm of dim Carcosa. Through a complex series of visualizations that expand the aspirants void-consciousness, the final age will arise. Ruled by the ominous King in Yellow, a new stage of reality will come to fruition. Of the Olde Ones, Hastur is considered to be one of the most difficult to work with, his teachings being reserved exclusively for the Cthonian Adepts and Lords.


Which Great Old One are you?

Tuesday

One week between the day Melinda tested pregnant and the day she started bleeding as heavily as a normal period, with worse than normal cramps. Over three hours in the waiting room outside Emergency, on a Friday night in early summer with a full moon. Pregnant woman with a baby in her arms sat down next to us, just to grind the irony into us mercilessly. On tv, we watched an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation in which Warf zaps between alternate universes. In one of them, Troi says Warf has children with her. Warf has to leave that reality to return to his son Alexander. Presumably the appropriate Warf will be replaced in that reality with Troi, but for a moment, it seems that Warf is losing children that he has never fully known. Just like Melinda and I were doing as we sat in the waiting room, waiting to confirm if Brisby or Caledonia was a miscarriage.

We were there from 9 PM until 5 AM. To make things worse, it's too early to really tell for sure whether the pregnancy is still okay or whether it's a miscarriage. Her hormone levels are low, and the doctor says it's probably a miscarriage, but get another blood test on Monday and see what the ob/gyn says then. Nothing like keeping us in suspense. Another weekend to get our hopes up, but we knew better.

On 5/12/2003, I wrote about the possibility of miscarriage: "You on the web, whoever you are, we'll probably write about it no matter what happens, so it's no big deal here either." Except I wasn't thinking about whether I'd have to read it again, or what I'm supposed to do with a god damn blog titled "Notes to Self and Kid" that has become moot within a week.

Although we may try to have kids later, the names "Caledonia" and "Brisby" are officially retired. If Christ and his spokespeople were right, then little Caledonia or Brisby is chillin in the afterlife with her Grandma Shirley and Grandpa Tom right now. Maybe we'll meet them all later.

Friday

Mommy likes kitties. She puts a little ASCII drawing on the bottoms of her emails that looks like a kitty.

=^..^=

Pa likes horror stories, such as "Call of Cthulhu" by Howard Phillips Lovecraft. When he wants to make fun of the hokey signatures that Mommy attaches to her emails, Pa adds a little ASCII drawing of Cthulhu.

/|\-(@jjjj@)-/|\

That is not dead which sleeping lies
And with strange aeons, even death may die.
When we were first together in Houston, before getting married on Halloween of 1997, we joked about naming you Cavender's Boot City if you were a boy or Wells Fargo if you were a girl.

Wednesday

Note to Self: stop posting pr0n urls to blog from now on, due to recent change in blog's purpose.
Your mother wanted to name you "Brisby."

But only as a male middle name, and even she's not quite sold on the idea. I'm totally not at all sold on the idea, but that's been your nickname so far, in our first week of knowing that you're coming.

Here are some other names we're considering:
* = not seriously considering

Female
Anastasia
Gretchen
Galadriel *
Caledonia!
[Caledonia - Roman name of part of northern Britain; since 18c, applied poetically to Scotland or the Scottish Highlands.]

Male
Frodo *
Thomas
Umberto **
Gustav **
Morgoth **********

Monday

I'm pretty sure none of my friends or acquaintances reads this, so it should be safe to mention here that Melinda is one month pregnant. I'm going to have a kid. They say you should hold off telling people about the pregnancy for a few months, in case there's a miscarriage and you don't want to talk to them about it after it happens. But I figured we're close enough and open enough with our relatives that I would probably talk about it with them if there was a miscarriage. I'd want to talk about it with them. Co-workers and friends and acquaintances can wait a few months. And you on the web, whoever you are, we'll probably write about it no matter what happens, so it's no big deal here either.

If anyone is reading this, who are you and how did you find it? Did you browse through to this spot after seeing the Art of Laze Recipes or something? Write me at deidzoeb@yahoo.com and tell me about yourself.

Wednesday

You are Oriental Noodles!
You are Oriental Ramen! You are the more exotic and
uncommon type of person, often isolated or
crowded upon because you are so much different
from everyone else. Sometimes you see yourself
as a social outcast, though you're really not.
You are quite good at many things, though they
might not be especially useful in life, but at
least they're amusing and fun. You are quite
the interesting person to have around.


What Flavor of Ramen Noodles are you?
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